Hello my dearest friends! First try to glad you with all that stupid things that I've written on russian. With Bloody-Nikita's help, I have one translated mini-fic and decided to upload it for you.
It's a part of my "Akatsuki's e-net page "Akatsuki today, tomorrow and forever" - The world of endless "flood"

So, hope you like it.

Author: NellielTu
Translater: Bloody-Nikita (Thanks to her, thanks, THANKS!!!)
Beta: great MS-Word, and me – sometimes, so – for mistakes kill only me or Microsoft, not Bloody-Nikita. She’s awesome
Genre: Humor
Size: Mini
Chars: Akatsuki

World of endless “flood” (or Why Akatsuki mustn’t have an e-net)

Sir Leader

Hidan, you moron, once again you'll plant on Daidara's bookshelf the encyclopaedia of art - I will kill you! Now he's so depressed. He did not find there a single mention about «bangs», and decided to cast light on it! Already the third hour different objects and pieces of objects fly along in a cave, and merry Daidara's "Katz" is heard far outside of our modest refuge. So, ask you in an amicable way, end up with similar jokes!


Jashin_I''m_all_yours

FU, god wanna be! Maybe I just wanted to help him, to do some elucidative activity in my free time. Who knows, that he would react on this so impetuously?!

Hey, greedy scum, are you on-line?!!!! If yes, then know: one more fucking time you, moron, will use my self-made portrait of Jashin-sama as a toilet paper, I will pull your fucking eye over your fucking ass!!!!!


Money_rule_the_world

So that how the great Jashin looks like! Well excuse me, I thought, it is a picture of overweighed monkey, suffering with a nose-bleed. You really have very original style of painting, Hidan.

Konan, come to me for some money on provisions. This month will be heavy, I'm afraid, not everyone will survive, so, with a purpose of economizing, we'll give no food to immortal one. No matter, still, he won't die.


Message 1: The user "origami-lover" left network


Private message 1 to: jashin_im_all_yours@akatsuki.org, money_rule_the_world@akatsuki.org, origami-lover@akatsuki.org, sir_leader@akatsuki.org, uchiha@akatsuki.org, fish_are_friends@ akatsuki.org, plant_cannibal1@akatsuki.org, plant_cannibal2@akatsuki.org, art_is_a_bang@akatsuki.org

from: good_boy@akatsuki.org

Hidan-sama, I've gathered the pieces of your Jashin portrait and glued it together! I think, it's him — all fits the description: fat monkey, suffering from a nose bleed, he's also got red eyes, with wheel-looking pupils. Toby tried to do everything neat. Toby is a good boy! Toby likes to help friends! Scanned image is added )))


Private message 2

to: good_boy@akatsuki.org

from: jashin_im_all_yours@akatsuki.org

It's not my Jashin, it's Daidara's portrait of Itachi.

P.S. By the way, my retarded friend, why the hell did you send this masterpiece to everybody in organization? And who the fuck let you to the keyboard?!


Fish_are_friends

What a cutie! May I print this chubby monkey and hang it in a frame on my wall!?


Last_uchiha

Brother, you so changed!


Uchiha

Daidara!!! Tsukiemi!!! Amaterasu!!! I will kill you! By the way, why Sasuke is in here?!!!


Lil_snake

Gomen, gomen. My falt!


Messege 2: User "art_is_a_bang" left network.


Messege 3: User "good_boy" left network


Message 4: User "uchiha" left network


Money_rule_the_world

Looks like soon it will be necessary to sew down something to the user good_boy, if there'll be something left from him and for the safety of user art_is_a_bang I won't be sure either.

Btw, did anybody saw my suitcase with a yesterday's yield? I left him at a table in the room, but now it's not in there. To returning as a reward his life would be saved.


Sir Leader:

And Konan, did she come?


Money_rule_the_world:

Yes, so what?


Sir Leader:

Never you'll see your suitcase again.


Message 5: User "good_boy" is online.


Good_boy

IIYVTITM'LTMAMIRPIPTSCHVMVFVSMVCHMPIMSMISITstosmtm

Deidara-sampai, please, stop smashing my head to the keyboard! Toby is a good boROAITIAVITMrpitiryuyuyu++yuyuyuyu.


Message 6: User "art_is_a_bang" is online.

Message 7: User "origami-lover" is online.


Sir Leader:

Konan, you are in the very nick of time. Wash the dishes already, it's impossible to come to the kitchen - cockroaches are everywhere. They feast, propagate oneself, then feast again. Personally for me this spectacle doesn't bring any aesthetic pleasure. So, go now, do your womanish duties, while we did not become over mould. Stop chatting already, lazy one!


Jashin_I''m_all_yours

And make some dinner, woman! I'm fucking starving, seriously. Better stop hanging on a keyboard, overseeing serious man's talks!!!


Art_is_a_bang

And wash my socks! Those green one, with flowers.


Message 8: User "origami-lover" left the network.


Sir Leader

Kha! Saw, as obeys! Here that means the real masculine word!


Message 9: User "art_is_a_bang" left the network


Message 10: User "sir_leader" left network


Message 11: User "jashin_im_all_yours" left network


Plant_Cannibal1

Plant_Sannibal2

Where did they gone? And what's the noise over there? We'll go get some look.

Message 12: User "plant_cannibal1" left network


Message 13: User "plant_cannibal2" left network


Message 14: User "origami-lover" is online


Origami-lover

At first, I washed ALL the dishes, and drove out ALL cockroaches, preliminary doing them suggestion that being engaged in reproduction in public places, like the kitchen of Akatsuki, does not stand.

At second, I'm, certainly, happy, that you mind to pay regard to that I am a woman every possible time, however, if you don’t mind, speak to me on the name. I hope I won't have to repeat that twice.

At third, if anyone has questions concerning dinner - apply to Hidan. His head is in an oven, and he with gladness will associate with you. Cause if you don’t smuggle him out in ten minutes - we'll have original swearing roast. Or Zetsu will guzzle him before. In addition, don't forget to take Daidara out of the washing machine. After all, with any other questions apply to Pain. Only dig out him at first. A place is noted by a cross, somewhere in five meters from the entrance to the cave.

Fourthly, to the persons interested to appeal to me with some dull requests — better pray at first.

Well that, boys, now will talk a bit, don't we?!! )))))

Message 15: Users "fish-are-friends", "good_boy", "money_rule_the_world" left network — due to the instinct of self-preservation.

Origami-lover

What's wrong with them??? ((